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Dead - Social Experiment Update

Hello Fursuit Tourney, you don't know me but...I know you. I want to play a game.

For years now, in what could loosely be considered your lives, you've always left it up to all the people inside this fandom to choose a favorite among other fursuiters when such pride and human judgment is looked on as a careless, selfish act of placing yourself up on the notable tower of popularity in this fandom. Popularity that you yourselves have been searching for, popularity that you are feeding these other fursuiters like a spoiled child with a silver spoon. I welcome you, and today, I am out to use the likes of Live Journal to journal the games that other furs will regrettably put themselves into. I am out to breach into the depth of this fandom and I am out to tap into the untapped potential of the organ that no fur has used for beneficial will. I am Shadow Wolf, and as of today, I am proud to state that I have learned the lessons of my predecessor, Jigsaw. I have learned to see what he sees, feel what he feels and save as he saves.

It is with this that I shall forever forbid myself to your community. Such acts of placing fur after fur up on the chopping block to determine popularity I find unworthy. The lives I find here...unworthy of the bodies they've been given creation. Life is so much more than who is really the best. Life is not a contest of who's really the best in this world. Life is a test for survival, striving to make it to the next day in your lives.

Should you read this message, then you have failed to be what I thought you could have been. You have not valued the true aspect of what life is. You have not yet seen what the real purpose of life really is. Human life is not a game of glitz and glamour - it's gore and grotesque. Popularity is not something you bleed for...Life is.

Game over.

Dead - Social Experiment Day 6

Hello sweetheart, or should I say, subject Number 3. You're in my experiment, and you're in it for all the absolutely wrong reasons. Granted, before I get into why you're in this experiment, I should probably already mention that this week, I am at a semi-volatile state. Seems another fur NOT deserving of the life he has been given has posted a familiar bowling meet for this coming Saturday August the 23rd, for all the other local furs who have yet to show me that they are deserving of life as well, that they truly value the air they breathe and the water they drink and the life that they have been given. But before I start, let me just mention a few things that are going on with this and then I shall begin. 1) I have started another weekly cram session of all things Saw. For the next week, I am doing nothing but studying the mentality, mistakes and behaviors of all things Saw. I feel as though my games can be taken another step more towards becoming more of a thought process than of simple little yes or no answers that have sometimes come up. 2) As for the bowling meet, I shall not go, for I will be studying through this time as well. I myself am not deserving of this bowling meet for the character I have made named Serberus has instilled upon me a feeling of dissatisfaction towards the local furs when it comes to a bowling meet. He was created around January during this exact dark time. And more important, 3) Know that the things that I am going to state here, is because I love you and is because I want our relationship to grow and to flourish. For I do really cherish your presence and I cherish you as the individual you are. No other being in this world has been made like you and such an individual you are is someone that I love, if they are capable of loving me back as well.

To begin, I ask you, do you remember when we met? Do you remember the time we met each other on a site that, well, adulterated aside we just talked and enjoyed one another's company? If I am not mistaken, it was I who sent you a friend's request that day thinking that you're just an overall sweet and friendly person that had all the same likes and dislikes as I had. I thought that, well, I had had my change of preferences, I could make something work if certain pieces fell into place. Well, not too many days after I had this thought, I wrote it in my Scratch-N'-Claws that I had just met you, that I was happy to see you and that we were beginning to know each other. At the time, I was also talking with another fur who told me that he knew you and met you before. In fact, this would happen twice with two furs - Jox and Sai. I mentioned who I was talking to and they knew then that I was talking with someone who was this overall gentle, loving, really sweet guy that was just looking for love if he could ever find it. Well Number 3, that was when I had another thought - maybe you and I found one another for more purposes other than friends.

A few days later, you and I came back to one another on the site and we talked for about another hour that morning, and we shared more likes and dislikes. It was then that you told me that you wanted someone who was sweet and loving and I mentioned that I am a really gentle soul who wants all the same...I am sort of a desperado for amore if you will. And from that point, you told me that we had a lot in common, that you felt it inside you that you loved me. You did something that I wanted so much to see in my life for another person to do - listen to their heart. At that point, I asked you to be my loving mate, and you proudly accepted. You made me the happiest wolf alive that day.

Flash forward to today and yet your Skype status says you're on, but I know your real life presence speaks otherwise. Our relationship has grown and now we are as close as ever, willing to stand up for one another and to be there for one another when the other is in need. That's saying a lot for a relationship so young but so strong, isn't it? But I ask you...do you cherish that same exact feeling that you heard in your heart last year or has the feeling smoldered over like a dying flame? I want to think that you would answer all the same if I did what I thought about doing one day for you. I remember how you asked me if it was bad if you wanted to get married. It doesn't hurt to think of the future Number 3, especially when and if you concentrate while listening to your heart speak of the name who you want to marry with. Therefore I do come saying this...we will. It may be the most non-formal way of doing so, but should your paws ever find this, I ask you then...knowing how much I love you...Will you marry me one day?

Number 3, I write this to inform you that the experiment you are in is just more of a checking in basis just to make sure that you aren't like subject Number 2 who is having difficulties listening to his heart. Number 3, you are older, smarter and you are really quite coherent to the feelings that you have. You've impressed me by speaking from your mind and your heart and truly listening to what both have had to say. You've done well...and so I ask now...does your heart and your mind still cherish the love that you and I have for one another?

Dead - Social Experiment Day 5

Number 2, it's your turn, and yours is going to be easy, as I have mentioned it quite often. Right now you are away with a friend, and while you are away, I am at writing this, hoping that someday you should have this fall into your paws and it helps you to realize what's in your life and to cherish it.

Last night, I shared my latest YouTube Category 6 video with you and you shared it right back with me, telling me that you love me. That was one situation that I had prepared myself for and I welcome your re-send back to me. It lets me know that, in the message that I spoke of in that video, you have someone in your life that you truly cherish. That's probably one of the sweetest reasons why I got such a great night of sleep last night because you reconfirmed something that I had wanted to know that I wanted to get into you.

Number 2, I haven't heard much of the talk about other masters lately and it makes me think that you are beginning to realize the importance of those who truly will and want to love you in accordance to those who are only going to treat you like a toy. Don't ever believe yourself to be that much for someone else. YOU are someone else. You is a person, not an item. Please keep that important thought in your mind and continue to realize who's truly important to you. Let your heart and your mind guide you to make the decisions you need to make. When you listen to your heart and you listen to your mind, you'll find that somewhere in there, true love really speaks out in a voice so loud that it cannot be ignored. Number 2, right now that voice is beginning to clear it's throat, so to say. You're beginning to realize that there are going to be two loving individuals in your life who love you more than anything and will want to take care of you. Cherish these two, and you'll find that the sweetest feeling of love will wash over you and you will not want to lose it. You won't want to lose it because...well...I don't want to lose the love that I have. It feels to good for me.

As for the experiment so far LJ, I cannot be more pleased with myself. I am enjoying this quiet time that I can have with my pup. It's really quite serene and he's told me so much and he's even done so much with me that...well...my mate and I even haven't done that much. He's talked to me about the possibility of going to AC together next year with a local fur around here, we've talked about what we're going to do this week and without the bowling meet. We're really keeping up with one another. He even knows more about my mom and my dad and I and the snags that we are running in with one another. Later on he's going to get Minecraft for the PS3 and he's going to be able to one day play with me on the Minecraft world. And you know something else...there's been no one else. In fact, I've been thinking seriously about expanding this experiment depth wise to say that something really serious has happened but hasn't happened.

See, yesterday afternoon, while I was writing and my video was uploading, I was thinking about where to take the experiment next. I was actually considering putting a birth and death year up on my Skype Status and then really stay quiet for a while...then come the time of a meet, go and just explain to everyone that the status was there to help to see that we all need to cherish what is around us for we never know if for some reason or another, those things or those people that we love won't be there. It got to a point that I thought "you know, that might just work". Sadly however, with how expansive and vast and connective social media is, should word get to family or parents and...yeah, then I'd have a problem. It would work with the fandom, granted, but word can just as easily get out to my family and friends and then I would be on the receiving end of one hard lesson I should have taught myself basically.

Other than that though, I've had a pretty good experiment so far. I can see truly for myself that not very many people really care all that much. That's alright...that video I said I uploaded, I haven't made it public yet. I can share it with anyone that I want, but for right now, I'm going to keep it to that. Let's let all those who come and talk to me be taught this, give them that lesson to learn and then tell them to pass it on.

Dead - Social Experiment Day 4

Since I feel as though getting into sharing the true details of what the subjects are around me, I feel now it's time to daily post a journal on the subjects and why they are in the experiment in accordance to what I feel like they should learn. Last journal post or "claw" per se, was on Number 5 and today I want to review Number 1 for this daily post.

Number 1, you've mentioned to me a few times now that you "use to be" on here, but now if you don't mind, I hope this can be seen as an extended invitation for you to come back as I do have this bit that I feel you need to read. The reason why you are in my experiment is actually pretty easy. This fandom that you and I are in, mutually - as you've shared with me, is an escape for you to get away from "drama". What in your eyes is this "drama" that you speak of? Allow me to share.

You see, I have this Skype profile for one reason that you haven't yet truly let sink into the back of your mind. I myself can't stand the drama, nor can anyone much these days. Skype to me, is served as this means where I talk with my friends and my loved ones on a mutual level and there's no feeling like any of us are stirring up any drama. Drama, yeah, it's stressful and we just act completely different when we are socially out of our normal mood thanks to outside predecessors. Number 1, since I've added you, things have shifted from relationship drama, to family drama, to immature teenager drama and all of that is something that I have battled through and gotten myself over. Number 1, I can't say that the same can go for you, for you haven't truly let it go like you've said. While I may not know what fully goes on in your life, I can say this much and I don't want to pass this off as disrespectful, but I don't want into that drama that you're in if indeed you haven't let it go quite yet. I'm not sure really if I could help you out of it either.

Number 1, family drama is the least of my concern right now because, if I got myself into whatever you go through, I fear as though I could be dragged into something that I wouldn't want to be a part of. My family has been torn to shreds because we've let the evil of the value of a dollar tear us all the fuck apart. Family drama with you and your mom and dad having problems with you and fursuiting, that's something that I just cannot help you with for that's something you need to think more of yourself. Only you will know the full aspect of the situation. I myself have gone through this familiar fursuiting situation before, sadly however it was years ago and now I can't say that I can recall whatever I've said to my own parent to get her into believing that fursuiting is just this fun activity that I want to do as a creative means to enjoy my free-time. Maybe you should try that yourself and really consider the words you say as the weapons that can make or break you.

Number 1, friend drama is just going to happen just like family drama and this is the least liked drama that I despise. So such and such a person said this and that and so relationships are talked about. What I am experiencing with my mate Max Lightrave doesn't need to be discussed as we are two happy souls living our lives both individually and together. I can admit the two of us have had some snags, but those little snags we've had have strengthened us to the point, I really do see us staying together. In fact, I'll be one to say this much Number 1, my mate came to me a few weeks ago and asked me "hun, is it bad that I want to get married" and my only reply was "aww...". Truth be told Number 1, yes, I want to take my mate's warm and loving heart and hand in marriage one day. I really do love my mate that much. He means just that much to me. Number 1, the reason why we are so strong? We are in our own loving little paradise where we have it as just my mate and I. We don't need headaches in our world there to spoil what we've made together. Number 1, I can't teach you what you want to do in this situation or that because those are numerous possibilities - but what I can teach you is the fact that a relationship is sacred. Cherish it and see it as you in a world where it's just you and your partner and that's it. That much with relationship drama I can help you with because I am one of those desperate lovers who wants all the most and all the best for a relationship to work.

And Number 1, the three words I do have to tell you is this - let it go. You're going to have situations come up in your life where others are going to make you feel miserable and I'm one of those souls that really doesn't want to hear it because, when I chat with someone, I don't want to talk about drama. I want to talk about wholesome, good, positive things in our lives, not all that dark shit that keeps you and I up at night. All that are things that we need to take care of on our own. That's really the only way that I can foresee drama ever really being taken care of. Some of which you just need to ignore and some of which you need to get serious about. The scale of it is something that you need to determine, not someone else. When you come to chat with me, that's all you talk to me about these days is how this and that doesn't work for you, how this person and that person said this and that or did this and that to you. I thought you wanted to talk to me, but it sounds as though you want to replay what happens just through another source. If you're going to chat with someone like myself on Skype, don't pass it on - keep the chats that you get into as a means to become socially relaxed and unstressed through drama in your life and let it go.

Dead - Social Experiment Day 3

So I've been kept in touch with subject's number 1 and 5 now. Number 1 doesn't know that I'm on here but Number 5 does. You see, Number 5, I know you and you know me. You know me all too well as do I because I know you're from Texas. I know you from other sources, but what makes things interesting for me is...

You're on here as well...

Pay very close attention to what I have had to say in the past few days when it comes to why I wanted to leave and so suddenly play so dead. The very reason why I am doing this experiment goes like this - I am still human. Even with this furry hide and soul that I have been blessed with, I am still human and I ask...no, I take that back...I Demand, to be treated like such. And let me offer you some light as to why. I'm ignored, I'm left out, I'm lied to, I'm left behind, I'm treated like shit all for a (SIC) thrill for that other being, and I ask...why? What the fuck makes me so different? Is it because I'm more a deep thinker than anyone or everyone else? Is it because everyone else wants to be me but can't? I would certainly hope not because if anyone wanted to be me, they would find that this soul is lost, aching for something more than just appreciation. I ache for love and respect. See Number 5, I'm hurting myself because I want you to see what I'm trying to do in this fandom. I'm still lost and I'm still trying to find my place(s). I don't have very many friends, but the thing about that is because I want serious friends. I don't want to be just added to this site or that site and "thanked for the watch" because he/she saw me one day or liked my picture or who sees me as this cute little black and red wolf. That doesn't mean shit to me because of what they saw. I'm someone that, you see me, I want you to think, not just see me. Ironically enough, I'm going to see this "I think he's just adorable" and really know that to be true because they did indeed "think" about it. See, I'm a serious kind of person when it comes to friendships, as I have found that to be true with my zodiac alignment as a Scorpio - we want to keep things serious but when those things are kept serious, we truly find our place then because we'll be devoted to them enough to take a damn bullet for them.

Number 5, the very reason why I have you in this social experiment is simple - ever since my hard drive on my personal computer went south, I vowed one thing and one thing only - No More Playing Around. You may find this a little (SIC) of me to say this, but yes, I am one of those furs that role-plays for other reasons. Do I want to do it - depends on what mood I'm in. Sometimes I'll take the occasional play and sometimes I won't. Some situations won't permit me to do so either, and I'll reiterate to what my Day 1 journal said - fetishism. Number 5, you have what you have, I respect that, but you don't want to be involved with what I have. You don't want to have me to explain to you either why I have these, for I was just...like...you. I explored around when I was young and now I've realized that those times that I've done so, I've hated it because I've explored, almost to the point I was throwing my life away. I was literally addicted to a certain kind of warmth that only I could cherish that I know some others do as well.

Number 5, when you come and talk to me, it's either this or it's your musical taste that you have on your mind. Let me remind you that, in the fandom, you are taught to respect one another's choices because they would respect your choices. They want equally for you only because they want equally in return. So real quick, no more *thinking about one thing* or *thinking of the words to say* because if you just don't have the words to say or you're thinking about your fetishism, I don't need to know it and don't need to read it. If you have this delay where you can't find the words to say, I understand, just keep thinking and don't tell me that you're stuck thinking that you really, absolutely have to say something. You wouldn't want to read my *thinking about werewolves* or *thinking about watersports* now, would you? If you get into a chat with someone you respect that respects you equally, as I do refer to myself when writing this, then keep it that way, don't overstep that boundary or that respect could very well be on the way to out the door and you'll never see it again. Number 5, I respect you and I truly cherish you because of some of the things you've done for me through FurAffinity. Yeah, still, I know who you are. I remember those pictures and the musical mixes that you use to do with Disturbed and providing this tad bit of a classical spin sometimes. I respect that because you were trying, and as a starving, trying musician like myself, I respect what you do because I want you to respect what I do. Okay, so my musical tastes aren't the same as yours, I'll admit, it's dark, it's sinister, but if you will...do you think the individual makes the music or does the music make the individual? Think about that while I tell you that I listen to Dimmu Borgir but I'm a devout Christian. Dimmu Borgir, you ask? Black metal with Satanic metal roots. So I ask you again, does the individual make the music or does the music make the individual...such as myself?

Number 5, I await your response now. I have further elaborated why you are in this social experiment. You are not in this social experiment because just some random incidents. You actually are in this experiment because now, if you're still reading this, I do want to make this one thing crystal clear. You mean a lot to me because you do care about how I feel. I feel the absolute same for you. I only ask that you see how to cherish me. I wouldn't have written this to you if I didn't want you to. On the inside of me though, yes, I do cherish you. You would be someone I would greatly miss if I passed on and I know you would miss me. Thus why I'm holding this experiment - cherish what you have and what is around you for you never know if you'll one day have it and then not ever have it again. That's the way life is sometimes. Life wants to test us but it's only natural.

Dead - Social Experiment Day 2

[8/12/2014 11:33:50 PM] Sparky Sparkxx: arrf?

8/12, 11:33pm
Heyy hun you okay?

Subject two notices that I am not online.

Same exact times, two distinct and different locations - the first is from Skype and the second is from Facebook via phone. I did the noble thing and replied to him on Skype where I could be one-on-one with him. Subject 1, 3, 4, 5, and 6 have yet to reply. I began this experiment at 1:00 a.m. on the morning of August 12th, 2014 and I have excluded such places as Facebook, for you can't really set a status there or in this case "hide". This lets me know one important thing about Subject 2.

Subject 2 worried about me from the time that I usually get online to the time that he considered it enough to leave me a message showing true signs of worry for me. For example, Subject 2 knows that I hop onto the computer once in the afternoon and once in the late evening at approximately 10:00 p.m. EST. By the time I hop on and sign onto Skype, before my Skype has even had a chance to load, he's sent me a message welcoming me back to him.

It should also be mentioned here that Subject two...is my pet. More on this day will come later should more messages come in, but in the meantime, Subject two was told word of the experiment and told to look out for individuals wanting to come in contact with me, to record their time that they mentioned me and questioned my disappearance. It is through him that I have a second hand in this experiment. He is the ONLY help I can have in this experiment, as I know him more than anyone else.

Dead - Social Experiment Day 1

As of today, I have begun a new social experiment. This is the only place that I can be contacted, that I can be seen for activity. FurAffinity...Facebook...YouTube...even Skype...I am dead. If you're seeing this message and are worried as to why I have remained unresponsive to any messages or comments, it is because some of you need to learn a lesson in valuing the most important aspects to living in these present times - love and respect for fellow man.

This is a social experiment where, should word slip out of my experiment in-regards to other human tongues, I will erase all memories I knew of you and erase you from my life...i.e. delete you every-fucking-where that I know you. Here's why I am conducting such an experiment.

"Value life, and everything in it, all the way down to a glass of water"

Some of you don't even acknowledge another person's presence. You look it as a "dull sense" if you will - You know it's there and you know, at least you want to think, that nothing can happen to it. You couldn't be any more further from the truth. In fact, such an answer to me is seen as disrespected. I am conducting this experiment as Jigsaw would have wanted it. I am conducting this because I do believe human life is the most important aspect to living. One minute you have it, and the next minute...well...you never know, can you? THAT, is why, I leave my quote from "Saw II" - the critically acclaimed sequel to the horror movie that started one of the most intense, but thought provoking sagas horror has ever witnessed.

So to all those that I leave behind with this journal, you all have a lesson, no matter the scale or magnitude of your lesson, and THIS is the biggest game you are all in. I give a few in particular and while this remain selfish of me to put myself at the forefront, these are just the few examples that I have seen in the year or two that I have been nicknamed "Jigsaw Wolf".

Subject 1 - Was all talks about family drama and never one to talk equally into a conversation regarding anything she wanted to know from me. Never came asking for advice, but one to always talk about subject's problems thinking that I can take them and that I will be the self-help guru and offer subject's advice.

Subject 2 - Goes to see friends and other furs and completely forgets about someone who loves said subject as equally as my mate. Makes contact in a not-so-loyal manner, affectionate towards other furs who won't love said subject and always quick to mention where subject is going to be and who subject is going to be with, disrespecting regards for my peace.

Subject 3 - Thinks that I am "busy" and doesn't want to worry me, but is more than wrong, then comes back in messages and never answers back. Messages have been sent and have not been replied to since about a week ago. Does NOT know the real meaning of love when it's right there in front of the subject.

Subject 4 - Disloyal towards past family and friends and comes from a bad background that has made subject disrespect and lie to all other rather social individuals around subject. Subject is quick to use the word "mutt" when referring to someone without use of calling them by name in a manner that is disrespectful, makes racial comments then infers them to the locale of where a friend or "pet" of his is [the south].

Subject 5 - Subject is quick to say "hey" in a rather friendly manner but is then slow to say anything else but think about fetishism towards one's feet, makes disrespectful judgment towards musical genres when subject has only listened and only listens to jazz or classical music and does not desire the opinions of other's musical tastes.

Subject 6 - Subject has been, in a crude manner, said "hi" by sticking his butt in someone's face through senseless role-play and only desires conversation with someone who equally shares the same fetishes said subject desires and will only role-play instead of conversing. Said subject grows upset when individuals do not converse with subject and will not talk with subject's significant other because significant other dislikes subject's fetishes.

I am utterly (SIC) of being treated this way as an individual, and now, as a test, I shall erase myself from the memory banks of all subjects and allow them this time to consider their actions and thoughts and words spoken and unspoken to me and reconsider their valuation of myself - as in - Does such individuals truly value another being in their existence or am I just an number?

Let the game...and this study...begin. Goodbye, not-so-social world.

Of Virtual Dirt...

Since last Saturday, one could tell that I had been putting aside the usual Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection and Mortal Kombat Komplete Edition (All of which brought to you by the letter "K" of course) for a little game that I picked up this past Saturday night called Minecraft. Minecraft has been one of those games where I would watch certain YouTube videos and think "wow, I'd actually love to do this or do that" and just sit and ponder if I actually had that sort of game.

Well, for a birthday gift last year, I had a friend of mine (Biowolf) download me a copy of Minecraft to my PC but I had noticed that playing on a PC wasn't nearly as...shall we say..."safe". I had been playing Minecraft on the PC since that point, on up to April when I would later pay witness to my computer crashing and not returning. Turned out there was a crash hard enough on my computer that it liberated my Operating System and burned up my hard drive. This is speaking from someone now who would play Minecraft for what...about 6 hours a day? No wonder my hard drive burned up. My computer seldom had times where it crashed to a blue screen and I would have to reboot, but none such like this had occurred where there would be irreparable damage to my hard drive. I waited about a month for a new hard drive to come in and be assembled to my computer. Most of that wait was on diagnosing the issue.

Now though, I have resolved to do better ever since I've gotten this PC back. I am writing again however my Minecraft on an untrusting PC system has ceased. I have noticed that when I've played, the exhaust fan on my computer would spin up at higher revolutions than I had ever felt before. So I decided one day to cease all activity on the PC in regards to Minecraft and just wait to move it to a trusting system. I had waited about...well...three months or so before considering Minecraft on the PS3 and this past Saturday, you could just about recognize how excited an individual I was when I saw Minecraft on disc form for PS3 (usually it's a download from the PlayStation Store). I began gameplay on Minecraft at about 2:45 a.m. when Hyper was out (I may have helped that situation) and I decided I would build a creative world first and see what happens. Well, not a few minutes into the world and I had already found an artisan well, the sand castle structure the game builds, and even a village for me to raid or just to keep secure for trading emerald later on.

For the past few days I've been at it, I've made a new world which is strictly survival and I've already unlocked quite a few achievements. This game is really actually quite easy on the PS3. I thought it would be a challenge, especially with the multiple toggle sticks that I have to use, the discerning "Create is L2 and Destroy is R2" and the slightly shaky controls that I'm still trying to get used to, but other than these few problems, I'm finding this game to be a really fun version for home consoles outside of the computer. The one thing I might would suggest though is that in creative mode, I've noticed that I can destroy blocks...with swords. In the PC, I wasn't able to do so. In fact, there are a few discernible differences between the PC and the PS3 Minecraft that I want to make mention.

1. Significantly Different Sized World - I've noticed that in the PS3, I'm in a desert biome in both worlds that I have but the jungle biome, the snow biome and mountains biome are all around the desert biome. The PC world was quite different for the map was magnified and the world was actually very vast. The map on the PS3, when I hit the edge of a world, I literally hit the edge of a world. I can go no further or my map wouldn't show it.

2. Flying - The PC was so much better with flying in creative world. Press Space bar twice and you could fly up into the air. Hold Space bar and you could go even higher. You could also press Space bar twice to drop to the ground and walk normally. This flying function on the PS3 is a bit tricky. It's "X" twice and you actually have to use both toggle sticks to make sure you keep flying, then press X twice if you want to drop and walk normally.

3. Torches - The PC version only lists one but apparently there are two forms of torches you can make in this game - Charcoal torches and coal torches.

4. Stained glass - There's no stained glass in the creative menu of Minecraft on the PS3. I'm pretty sure you can make it in this game maybe in survival world, but it's not listed as a selectable item to build with in creative mode.

5. Missing ore - I noticed one situation while gaming one night that my game found diamond which is a really useful ore for weapons and tools. However, I was in a room of lava and as I dug in a wall, the game notified me that I had located diamond, but all I could see around me was stone. Diamond ore, to the experienced gamer/player/miner/crafter/builder is like stone HOWEVER it has hints of light blue coloration. Stone is just a plain gray block. Those plain gray blocks were all I was seeing.

But I'm not going to lie, there are a few subtle differences with the PS3 and the PC game that I'm trying...and still trying...to grasp. If I'm not mistaken, I do believe that the next update for Minecraft on the PC is going to be named 1.8 and that this update is going to resolve a lot of issues with world chunks not loading or "corrupted chunks", new item blocks such as new water blocks (which means possible a new water biome or water boss), new spawns/monster spawns such as rabbits, new foodstuffs such as rabbit stew, much better render distances on up to about 36 now (meaning you can visually see about 36 kilometers out into your world i.e. a lot more detail about your world) and it load visually where it looks realistic and everything loads clean and smoothly and the PS3 and/or Xbox world is going to be expanded quite a bit from where it's at now. From what I've heard, the PS3 world and Xbox worlds could be...get this...36 times bigger! The ceiling has already been raised so...why not go ahead and sizably expand the world further out horizontally? It would make sense to me if they did so.

Mojang is making all the right moves to further create this game and further increase gameplay to a more manageable, more realistic and more addicting formats and updates to worlds in Minecraft. They've literally got all their Minecraft chickens...or ducks...in a row. What Mojang did to release this game to PS3 was smart, for fans of Minecraft who didn't have an Xbox to play it on. I'm glad to finally be playing it on my PS3 as it has been about 2007 since I've played a video game that WASN'T Mortal Kombat related. All that blood and gore and I get a much cleaner change of pace when it comes to games in the form of Minecraft. From one who is speaking who use to play with Legos as a child and dream up all kinds of builds to now mining up dirt, smelting iron, gold and diamond, creating all kinds of electronic builds with redstone wiring, even to your larger than life creations. Say you want a large fursona built in your world where it looks really like your fursona in the form of a Minecraft skin? I can do it now. If I tried with Legos, I'd run out of enough black and red blocks. Even to your worldly generated structures such as abandoned mineshafts, dungeons, sand castles, villages, artisan wells, jungle temples and even the adventurous stronghold with a portal to The End that will...literally...unlock a whole new world where you get to take on the End Dragon and, should you succeed, gain levels abundance in experience points and even a nice little dragon egg that can be in your possession...if you know how to get it, that is. Minecraft has come quite a long way, and with me, the journey on the PS3 has hopefully just begun.

How Water Turns Thicker Than Blood

While I was away for a little while, two things happened - grandmother passed and the family split. Mom and I knew that this would happen. My grandmother died a pretty horrible death, internally drowning in her own bodily fluids from the lack of dialysis. For a while there, it seemed like my family was going to get each other through this. It seemed like this was actually going to turn out better for the better and just how my grandmother would have wanted it.

Sadly though, when it came to cleaning out grandmother's house (my two last trips to that place of many memories), Hell was unleashed. You let someone mention how someone wasn't going to get that much in the Will and then fingers get pointed, someone has to say that he/she needs to open their eyes and that's when the fight ensues. I even had my joints on me, ready just for this sort of occasion just in case. Two people were even illegally inside the house while we were going through the rooms! And you need not worry about myself. What inheritance that I had wanted was the first items squared away in my mom's car. I got my grandmother's Christmas decorations, all the way down to even the hooks. My grandmother would have wanted it this way, for she knew that I love Christmas and loved to help her decorate and clean up afterwards. Besides, those were some of the best memories I ever made over there were at Christmas times. Oh if only I could feasibly list all those memories I ever made. So many but so distant in my life.

My life over at my grandmother's finally came to an end on June 15th, 2014. That was my last trip over there. My grandmother is no longer there. She's in Heaven now. All my memories and long lasting years growing up there are with me, close to me, in heart and mind knowing that those were the best years of my life. And as for my family, we are officially through. My uncle and myself are so distant, I can't even be seen with any of my cousins (his daughters). Emily, Jennifer and Hillary, Sara, Chris, and even Eric, Ann and Gerald - if only I had enough hands to show you what I think of you all, but sadly, all I'd need is just one finger on those hands. Get my point?

I escaped the Hell that you brought unto myself - enjoy the rest of your lives in the same Hell you brought on me.

A Heart Left In Question

I'm worried for my mate Max today. Recently I've seen fur after fur coming to me, asking me about how he is and asking if I've talked with him. I haven't talked with him in three weeks. One fur made the idea that he's trying to break it off with me. It wouldn't explain the fact that he's left just these little messages to mine and how he still says "hun" to me, stating to me that I'm still someone close to him. She has no right to judge anyway. She best shut her mouth before I do it myself. Today it got to my worst with two furs - one wanted to talk to me, the other wanted to know how I was. I was literally at the point, I found myself in the same situation that Empty Shadow left me in back in 2012 when he threw me into my downward spiral - hurt, crying, head in a pillow and screaming for yet another name and another being to "help me".

But it was afterwards that I arose from that dismal state that I got back to Skype and saw that my pet Hyper was concerned about what was going on. So I told him how I was. I also went to my second pet Sai and asked all four of us to get into a chat and work this thing out. Max now has a date with destiny in my eyes where he's going to have to alleviate a lot of pain in my heart once again. Hyper has done so much for me that Max has done little to none at all with me. Max's date with destiny you ask? I sent him a note, concerned about the status of our relationship, how at one point he mentioned to me that he felt like he was failing me and now how those feelings have sort of surfaced to speak a truth that feels them today. Maybe not so much back then that it felt these sort of thoughts, but now that he's left me quiet for three weeks, it has me concerned.

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August 2014



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